It’s all relatives

Here is a “good clean joke” that Bo passed on to me. Thanks, Bo, excellent!

"Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

"He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance.

"The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is speaker Pelosi. How might I help you?"

”"And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

”Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

”There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

”Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."”

Christmas Funnies

It seems like Christmas shopping is moot. People buy everything that want during the year, so then there is nothing left to buy for them at Christmas.

1. What do you get for somebody that has everything they want?

2. What will a bald man say if you give him a comb for Christmas.

3. What did the Doctor say to the kleptomaniac Christmas shopper?

4. What do you say if the holiday meal is more satisfactory than any of the gifts you ever get?

5. What did the mother say to the child who asked for dog for Christmas?

Answers:

1. Something that they don’t want. (Preferably something that you already have and don’t want yourself, that way you aren’t wasting any money.)

2. “I’ll never part with it.”

3. "Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera."

4. “I don’t care if my stocking is stuffed, as long as my stuffing is stocked.”

5. "No! You can have turkey like everyone else!"

OK, these jokes are pretty lame, but this Christmas season, the teachings of Christ are really the most important gift you can give. Send the following link to someone you know who needs to know the Lord.

www.needgod.com

Saving America

T.D. sent me the following joke, which I modified slightly to conform to my self-imposed equal-opportunity bashing guidelines. Thanks T.D.

Three Vision-Challenged "Leaders"

Senators Hillary Diane Rodham-Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama, and John Sidney "Amnesy" McCain were all on a boat. the boat sank. who got saved?????????





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AMERICA ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !