Late Night Laughts...Protecting America from Donald Trump

The jokes that follow are courtesy of Newsmax.com which periodically sends out email compilations of jokes from the various late night TV talk shows, few of them are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.

This current batch of monologue jokes center around Republican candidate for President Donald Trump, and security issues surrounding his campaign events.

Electing Trump would be dangerous for America. There already is a narcissist in the White House, do we really want another 4 years of watching a one-act play by a two-bit reality TV actor played out on the world stage? I think not!

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

· At a rally over the weekend, Donald Trump was surrounded by Secret Service agents after a man tried to rush the stage. The Secret Service said the man was dangerous and disturbed, but they had to protect him anyway.

· Proving once and for all, the best way to keep everyone safe and sound is to build a wall around Donald Trump.

Late Night Jokes - Jeb Bush and Willard Romney, More Alike Than Not and the 2016 Election

Late Night Takes

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

 

·  Potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush will release a decade’s worth of tax returns to avoid comparisons to Mitt Romney. Yeah, they’re nothing alike. They’re just both former governors from wealthy families whose parents gave them super-weird names.

These jokes is courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.

An addendum:

In addition, both Jeb Bush and Willard Mitt Romney are Republicans in Name Only (RINOs).

Both are GOP elite approved candidates.

Both are tolerated by the main stream media.

They are conservatives only when it is beneficial and when conservative votes are needed.

They have no strong conservative convictions.

The best that can be said about these two, Bush and Romney, (and joined by Chris Christy) is that they split the left-of-center Republican vote in the primaries allowing a strong conservative to emerge as the GOP’s nominee…  

Late Night Jokes – The Democrat Party and the 2014 Election

Late Night Takes

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

·  During a speech on Sunday, President Obama said to the crowd, “We've got to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.” This went on for an hour until someone finally fixed his teleprompter.

·  Democrats have been doing everything they can to get young people and college students to vote in the midterms. Though if you want students to participate in something, maybe you shouldn't call them midterms.

Conan

·  Utah could elect its first black Republican woman (Mia Love) to Congress. In other words, Utah finally got one black person and the first thing they want to do is send her to Washington.

These jokes is courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.


Cartoon by Gary McCoy on Townhall.com

2014

Late Night Takes on Debating and Campaigning for President

Late Night Jokes

The double header weekend debates in New Hampshire and current campaigns have done one thing. They have given the late night talk show hosts some good material.

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

You know the difference between Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Tim Tebow? When God tells Tim Tebow to run, he wins.

Mitt Romney says he understands the middle class, and that he knows it's not easy keeping a roof over your family's heads — as well as vacation roofs in San Diego, New Hampshire, and Park City, Utah.

In Saturday night's Republican debate, Jon Huntsman spoke Chinese. Why Chinese? If you want to reach the American people, you’ve got to speak Spanish.

Conan

Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked Castro for his endorsement.

Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire.

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

Mitt Romney had a huge lead going into the primary. It would’ve taken a miraculous, divinely-inspired comeback for anyone to defeat him. So let me be the first to say congratulations, President Tim Tebow.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Newt Gingrich thinks he's the man for the job. He got an important endorsement from Sarah Palin's husband, Todd. He has the all-important “snowmobilers who wear sunglasses indoors” demographic.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

While campaigning yesterday, Jon Huntsman said he was “ready to rock and roll.” Not to be outdone, Mitt Romney said he was ready to “easy listen.”

These jokes are courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.

Late Night Takes Hugo & Huma

Late Night Jokes

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Obama a clown and an embarrassment. You don't talk about our president that way. Our vice president, sure, that would be fine.

Anthony Weiner and is his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on Twitter, but people are afraid to open it.

These jokes are courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.

Late Night Takes Halloween and Something Scary

Late Night Jokes

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.

While testifying at the Conrad Murray trial, Michael Jackson's personal nurse complained of being faint on the stand, and the court had to be adjourned. How scary is that? Getting sick in that courtroom and the only doctor in the house is Conrad Murray.

This joke is courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . these were the exceptions.

The Campaigner-in-Chief is on the Road Again

The Great Campaigner

Both former President William Jefferson Clinton and President Barry Soetoro alias Barack Hussein Obama are hitting the campaign trail in a desperate attempt to stave off a Democrat massacre at the polls this November. In the September 2010 issue of Newsmax Magazine there was an interesting article by Ronald Kessler titled, “Virginian’s AG: This Guy Is All Action.” In that article Kessler quotes Virginian Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli II in regard to the current occupier of the White House as a campaigner and as a leader.

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CAMPAIGNING VERSUS GOVERNING

“I would say that President (Soetoro) Obama is one of the best campaigners we have ever seen. Campaigns are sales, marketing, and communication. Governing is a whole lot more. They sold the feelings and values in a very generic form during the campaign, but once you take office, governing requires getting down to the details. Those policies that they have actually pursued are so distasteful to the American people, sort of at a gut level, that they have lost popularity.”

--- Ken Cuccinelli II, Virgina Attorney General, quoted on page 15 of the September issue of Newmax

Campaigning is something that the President does best. Leading and governing not so much … I can see why the author reports that General Cuccinelli is a rising star in the Republican Party. We will be hearing more form this gentleman in the future.

Late Night Takes – Some Good Economic News

Late Night Humor

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

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"Larry Summers, President (Soetoro aka) Obama's top economic adviser, is stepping down. Finally, some good economic news."

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This joke is courtesy of NewsMax.com (Hat Tip!), which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating … this was an the exception in the latest batch.

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New $26 Mil Stimulus Bailout Bill for Teachers called ‘Cash for Flunkers’

I received this item from Newsmax.com in an email, "House Minority Leader John Boehner has suggested several names for the new stimulus bill Democrats rammed through Congress last week none of them complimentary.”

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This completely unnecessary, foolhardy, and highly charged Pelosi promised political payoff (the latest so-called stimulus bill) was geared primarily to buy or save votes of thousands of teachers and state employees. The bill was forced through the House so quickly that it didn’t even have a name. But CNSNews reported that Republicans said the bill is an election-year gift to teachers and public workers unions.

Newsmax.com also quoted House Minority Leader Boehner as saying about the newest bailout legislation, “A nameless bill for a hopeless cause is a fitting metaphor for a Democratic Congress that refuses to listen to the American people and abandon its job-killing agenda.”

He offered a few priceless specific suggestions. Here are some. I underscored my favorites.

· Save Our “Stimulus” (SOS) Act

· “Recovery Summer” Bailout Act (Cash for Flunkers)

· Delivering Unions a Major Boost (DUMB) Act

· Helping Election Expenditures, Hurting American Workers (HEEHAW) Act

· Democracy Is Strengthened by Clearly Leveraging and Optimizing Special-Interests' Effectiveness (DISCLOSE) Act

· Rescuing Incumbent Democrats Is Costly (RIDIC) Act

· Summertime Cash for Union Bosses Instead of Spending Cuts for Taxpayers Act

· Frivolous Act of Ineffective Largesse (FAIL) Act

· Naming These Things Hasn't Gotten Us Anywhere, So Why Bother Act

Another bill title might be, "Step-Daughter of Stimulus Act," in acknowledgement to harried and hurried Speaker Pelosi's draconian measure.

November cannot come soon enough. We have to stop the bleeding by these persons with their destructive socialist agenda, which is wrecking and reeking havoc on the nation and its economy.

Remember in November – remember all the stimulus and bailout bills …

Rising Dependency on Big Government Thwarts Our Competitiveness

“(The United States) has been known as the land of opportunity. If that becomes becomes instead ‘the land of the government dole.’ Which it looks like its becoming based on the really horrifying results, then I think what you’re going to find is Americans no longer able to compete internationally.”

---Terry Miller, former ambassador to the UN Economic & Social Council under President Bush

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The result that Miller was referring to in his quote above, which was from the August NewsMax Magazine article, “Dependency on U.S. Government Skyrockets," was the drastic increase of 14% compared to the usual 3-5% increase in the Heritage Foundation’s annual Index of Dependence on Government. The bigger government grows the less competitive and the less free America becomes.

We must Remember in November all of the affronts to our personal and national liberty have been perpetrated against us by the regime currently in power. We must say enough is enough by firing Congressmen and Congresswomen who supported the vile socialistic policies of this government.

Late Night Takes – The President, Another View

Late Night Humor
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The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

● President (Barry Soetoro alias Barack) Obama (went) on “The View” to talk about the economy. Later on, he’ll go to “General Hospital” to explain to doctors how the new healthcare system works.

This joke is courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . this is the exception.

Late Night Takes - Best & Brightest in Washington D.C.?

Late Night Jokes

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

● "According to a study by the Brookings Institution, Washington D.C. has the highest concentration of smart people in the United States. Let’s see;

· we have a mess in the Gulf,
· we have a dysfunctional Homeland Security, and
· we are $13 trillion debt.

"Imagine how bad it would be if these people weren't geniuses."

These jokes are courtesy of NewsMax.com which periodically sends out an email compilation of late night jokes, few of which are worth repeating . . . thiis is the exception.